I was admiring the female body in some pictures my friend sent me at work. I was too distracted to notice my boss staring from behind. Lucky for me he is cool. He just said "nice rack. On that one. Wish my wife had those." Then he told me to not be so obvious next time and he walked away. I was a bit embarrassed
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When I woke up yesterday morning the bone behind my left butt cheek was hurting really bad. I asked my girlfriend if she accidentally kneed me in the butt the night before. She responded with "no it wasn't me. Aliens must have come down and anal probed you last night." That day I couldn't bend over or walk without crying in pain. She just laugh at me the whole day.
My martial arts instructor wore these very small shorts. He was crouched in front of me talking to the guys next to me. I saw that there was some kind of tumor like skin sac coming out of the shorts. I stared at it wondering what it was. Then I realized I had been staring at one of his testicles the whole time!
In college I once snuck into an empty class room, hooked up my xbox and played MVC2 on the projector.
Some big intimidating guy was about to fight me at a club. Now i'm a small Indian guy and I can't fight but I have this technique I use against guys I know I can't take. While the guy was mouthing off in my face I smacked his face really hard which makes him think wtf just happened. This gives me enough time to crouch down, upper cut his balls, and Jet the f*** out before he recovers.