I fantasize about my teacher and I have no idea what to do
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My best friend. The one person I could trust made me feel like complete shit tonight. I don't even wanna see her now. I see her twice a year if I'm lucky. We had plans to see each other and she lied to not hang out. I'm like heartbroken, she cares more about her friends in a different state. :( I feel like she's using me to get a ride somewhere in two days. I feel like complete shit. Hope she's happy with what she's done..:(
I was ok a field trip, nothing special. Just with our class to some farm. They told us to wear stud we didn't mind getting dirty, so I wore some old light colored blue jeans and sneakers. It was really hot so I drank a lot of water, naturally on the bus I had to pee. I figured there would be bathrooms AT the farm, so I waited and drank the last bit of water. By the time we got to the farm I was bursting to pee!! I couldn't even grab myself to hold it in because everyone from my grade was there. We had to work in the fields so I choose a secluded spot where some grape vines where. I pulled down my pants and started to pee listening and looking for anyone, suddenly I saw a teacher coming, I tried to stop the flow of pee coming out but I couldn't! I hobbled over, (because I was still peeing) behind a bush and squatted low so she couldn't see me. I really don't know what happened after, but I finished peeing with a small wet spot on my pants and carried on huge day, hoping no one saw or knew I had peed on grapes.
I dont want to marry into your crazy bipolar family. I dont want to be around them. They dont embrace me the way I embrace them. Not all of them are bad people, I just realized that the whole situation is not what I want. Sorry.
Now that I dont want to be with you anymore, you all of a sudden love me so much and want to get married and have kids. After years of you treating me like shit and cheating on me how can you get mad at me when I say we have grown apart? You just want me to stick around for your own selfish reasons. If you really love me then let me go! Stop playing the victim trying to make it seem like I'm leaving you for dead. Just because I dont want to be with you does not mean I dont still care about you. I did want kids but I dont feel that way anymore. I dont want to get married because honestly thats setting myself up for failure. I'm tired. I'm tired of taking care of you, I'm tired of giving you money. Its been almost 5 years of me financially supporting you! THIS SHIT HAS GOTTEN OLD. You have never done anything for me, never even gave me a $1. Not even change. I just feel like you have become a bill to me and I feel so bad for saying that but thats how I feel.