Some big intimidating guy was about to fight me at a club. Now i'm a small Indian guy and I can't fight but I have this technique I use against guys I know I can't take. While the guy was mouthing off in my face I smacked his face really hard which makes him think wtf just happened. This gives me enough time to crouch down, upper cut his balls, and Jet the f*** out before he recovers.
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In college I once snuck into an empty class room, hooked up my xbox and played MVC2 on the projector.
I like to get my girl in the mood for some late night "coffee" by getting naked and only wearing a pair of plastic glasses with missing lenses. Once she sees my magnificent body I proceed with a luring mating dance which she can't resist. Eventually she gives in and calls me over to bed. Works every time.
I have a huge thing for nerds. Not like the fat ones that spend all their time playing WOW, but the adorable ones that are like human computers, wear glasses, and use nerdy, but sexy pick up lines.
My fat ex use to fart around me all the time. He would stand next to me while I watch tv or pass by me and let one rip and then smile as he walked away. One day during winter we were in bed under a bunch of sheets. I heard him fart one of those long and hot farts and he said "muahaha" so I quickly got up and put the sheets over his head and held him under his atomic fart and told him "muahaha that, b**ch!". He begged for mercy but I had enough of his smelly a**!