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I like to pick my nose and then stick my finger in my cousins mouth just for the hell of it.

May 18, 2012

My 4 year old niece caught me playing Max Payne 3 just after a big gun-fight. Through her eyes, it must have been terrible: bodies everywhere, blood stains on all the walls. She has a (bad) tendency to treat the things I say as God's Truth. She asks me what I am playing, I tell her this cop (Max Payne) is investigating this horrible murder! She asks who did this? I say it was Twilight Sparkle from My Little Ponies Big Eyes I really hope I am not there when my Sister-in-Law puts on her favorite cartoon and she starts crying... This is not the first time I have done something like this... Is it wrong to enjoy crushing innocence?

Jun 06, 2012

In 4th grade, I had a slumber party for my birthday. This one girl that had long hair made fun of my short hair. So I invited her to the party. When she was fast asleep, I took a pair of scissors and cut it un-even and really short, then I glued her pillow to her head. When she woke up, she started to full-out scream and cry. Everybody thought it was hilarious, because she made everyone feel like an idiot. She peed her pants, and had to go home. The next day, people thought she was a new boy in the class. I laughed so hard.

Aug 01, 2012
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